Been an interesting pot pourri today. My last posting related to a heightened state of hysteria at anticipated happenings. Somewhere along the rather odd night, a touch of doggedness attached itself to the coattails of the hysteria and fired up an attempt to p.u.t. t.h.i.n.g.s. i.n. o.r.d.e.r.
Having mentally exhausted myself with serious politicking; surreal chitter chatter, daftness with my framily and worn a hole on the enter key of the laptop (sorry JC!), I kinda figured I'm manage sleep fairly easily. Oh no! It was not to be.
Consideration Number 1: When you have experienced Sky television in the wee small hours, chances are you can find something mildly distracting, or even amusing to aid the arrival of the sleep fairy amongst the 7 thousand channels available. Terrestrial TV on a Sunday evening tends to offer worthy, earnest, heart tugging material and so it was last night. I did not mean to watch Vera Drake. Really, I did not. I knew the subject matter; I knew it would distress me, I had been born in the year the final trial was set and well remembered the darkness of those days, all brown paint, lino, drudgery and drabness. Nope! Not the appropriate fix for insomnia. Turned over to look for a funny. Nope. Thought about reading. Tried. Nope. Can no longer do that - one of the worst side effects. Multiple medical matters have robbed me of a life-long passion for the reading of words and I think I resent that more than the physical curtailment. Somehow Vera Drake lured me back and I am so glad I allowed myself to be so lured. What a stunning performance from Emelda Staunton! Her portrayal was exquisite. Her walk; the mantle of weariness settling around her shoulders; her pathetic delight in the love and support of her husband. Her absolute horror that she had hurt someone whilst trying to 'help' them. The entire cast were utterly believable. There were moments when I thought I was actually in a neighbour's house watching their lives fall apart. And then I went and spolit it all by watching Mystic Pizza. By the end of that I was still wide awake and several hours short of whiskey.
Considersation Number 2: Cocoa, even proper Bournville Cocoa, is a very, VERY poor substitute for a malt whiskey, or even a blended whiskey, when it comes to sleep inducing effects. Despite the calendar, I am so not ready to abandon my bad habits in favour of Mills and Boon; bed jackets and malted choclotately beddy byes drinkies. IT'S TOO DAMNED SOON!
Consideration Number 3: Animals are an essential aid to mental well being. They may not give you a reason for wearing your best frock, or even trouble you to do the accounts or the filing. Their welfare depends not on your ability to read a government form or explain the theory of quantum physics. Their welfare hinges on your ability to be compost-menthol (thank you Jade) enough to love them, pet them, feed them, nurse them, entertain them and exercise them. They could not give a flying flicker whether you smell of manure or Channel No: 5; dress in Primani or D&G, have a degree or a fortune. Just so long as you give to them what they give to you - absolute devotion. In the spirit of that thought, after a long, cold and poorly winter, I realised today that my beloved MaddyMoo looked more barrel shaped than lean and lithe as her mixed breeds demand. So after a brief forage in the village, on a whim, I took her to Howden's Pullover. Fortunately there was a ball in the car!!!! I only managed 15 minutes playing fetchy catchy before I became exhausted but at least she got to romp through the dunes and wear down her claws a little on the rough car parking area. And I managed to suppress the usual shiver of fear that attaches itself to me when I am alone and worried about that strange car that's just pulled alongside me...
Consideration Number 4: My Framily and Friends deserve more from me. I am conscious that there are been TOO MUCH WITTERING coming out from these 'ere lips! There are only so many ways one can complain, whine, worry, moan and lean on willing, loving friends. Time that Boudicca returned and indeed she does appear to have paid a visit. I think she rolled in yesterday afternoon because I found myself, at last, supporting my best friend on the 'phone when she needed it. And, what's more, making her laugh!!!!! I have not done that for such a long time and she does nothing BUT support me all the time. So I have tried today to 'touch' those I care about and to let them know that I do care about them. There is much danger in 'Me, Me, Me, Me, I'.
Today I managed the make a start on the chaotic paperwork, both personal and work, and whilst two hours of it did for me; I DID make a start. I shall continue again tomorrow after the next consultant consultation and hope that the Spirit of the Warrior Queen continues to sit on my left shoulder.
Love and Peace
THE Purple Fairy xxx
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